Ashlynn+R’s+Final+AmEx+2015+Speech


 * Normal is What You Make it **

I have grown to realize many things in my life, but one that I have realized more than anything, is how society chooses what normal is, and we let them. Society chooses how we should act and who you should be. Why do we allow society to do this to us? I never really thought about it, until recently when I was talking with a friend. We were talking about the problem with self confidence lately, and how it seems that within the past few years, more and more of us are struggling because society doesn’t believe their normal is good enough.

This idea that society chooses what is normal, I believe to be the whole reason that we have things such as bullies. It is shaped for us, that we have to wear a certain brand, look a certain way and act a certain way, and because of this no one likes being themselves, we all change who we are, and how we are to fit the mold of normal in today’s society. I think we try to hard to fit the mold that the rest of the world forms, and we forget to just be ourselves. Correct me if I’m wrong, but are we not supposed to be ourselves, and be proud of who we are? Is that not what they have been teaching us the past five or six years with all of those anti-bully talks?

Normal in today’s world, is having to look pretty, be skinny, and be up to date on the latest trends, or in other word, be perfect. It seems although today, that if you have an imperfection, you’re not normal, you don’t belong. Part of what I have realized with the idea that society chooses what normal is, is that if you have an imperfection, or a difference, everyone looks at you differently. Don’t act like you haven’t seen it, or even that you yourself have never looked at someone for having an imperfection such as being overweight, or even someone that has autism.

I never knew what it was like to be looked at as being different, because I never honestly had to deal with being different, because I was just like everyone else. That all changed though when I was in sixth grade. In sixth grade, I was diagnosed with scoliosis meaning my spine is shaped like an S. It was clear to tell, if you looked at me that there was something off, because one side of my body looked different from the other because the curvature of my spine. My case was so bad, that I almost had to get surgery, but ended up being put in a back brace for over twenty hours a day, every day of the year. From the moment the doctor put it on me for the first time, I began hating it. Every time I went out in public wearing it, people would look at me and comment in whispers thinking that I couldn’t hear them when I really could. These people, were full grown adults. It continued to get worse from there. When I started wearing it to school, kids would stare at it in the halls, and when I sat in class, I would catch my classmates looking at it to. I dealt with this almost throughout my entire middle school experience, and it never got easier, it just always got harder. Some would say they looked at me because they were curious, but really it was because it was an imperfection. They looked at me because I was different. It got old eventually, but that didn’t stop it from happening anymore. The staring continued, and the rude comments from adult strangers continued, and every time I wanted to just escape, I wanted it all to be over. No one understood the pain that I felt from being looked at differently and being treated differently, and even the pain the brace itself brought. No one ever saw the pain though, and no one ever knew about it, because I hid my pain, and covered it with a smile because in this world, it seems that if you show emotion, you are weak and I didn’t want another reason to be looked at differently. It got so bad, that I never wanted to be around anyone. I never wanted to be with my family, and I even started distancing myself from some of my friends because I felt I didn’t belong. I had no one to talk to about it, because no one knew what I was going through. None of my friends did, and none of my family did either, and keeping all of the pain that this time in my life caused bottled up, I began to feel depressed because I never told anyone about how I felt because I just wanted to cover it up with a smile and act as though everything was fine, and deal with my inner battle by myself because that is the “normal” thing to do because in society’s eyes, if you need help your weak and it’s not normal to be weak. Even though society tells us to be ashamed of sharing our imperfections, you never know who could share the imperfections with you. I didn't think I would ever meet someone going through the same battle, but when I became friends with Nicole Freshman year, I found someone sporting the same "imperfection" as myself. Now, she wears a scar down her spine because of it, and I wear my scar on the inside. Does this make us any less normal though?

Why I share part of my story, is because it is just one example of how having something mark you as being different, means you don’t belong. If you aren’t skinny, pretty, and up to date on the latest trends, your marked as not being normal, your marked as not fitting the mold that has been created. This is just the mold that we face now. Think about what kind of molds we’ll be faced with in the future. It's been established for us, that next year, we will be faced with the mold of registering to vote. In the future, we will be faced with molds such as establishing our careers right after college. In the future we will be faced with the mold of getting married and for some having a family. I’m going off about how society shapes what is normal, because in my eyes, it has gotten to the point where it is ridiculous what is expected of us. It is ridiculous, because it has gotten to the point that no one is there own person anymore. We all take the same classes, we all follow the same paths, and we all look and act the same.

The biggest question I have to ask, is why do we bully those who are different for being different? Shouldn’t we praise them? We should praise them because they embrace their imperfections, and their differences because it marks them as being individual, it marks them for breaking the mold. These are the people we should be looking at. We should be looking up to the people who are not afraid to be themselves. The biggest problem I believe today, is allowing ourselves to be our own enemy. I believe being our own enemy is America’s biggest problem today, because we are the only people that control who we turn out to be. We are the only people who can tell ourselves to be whoever we want to be. No one can make us want to study, but you can make yourself want to study, because you are the only person that can choose what you do. Society chooses what is normal because they go by what seems to be the big trend. Society sees one picture of a Kardashian, and society says that wearing a waist trainer is normal. Society has idolized people like the Kardashians and the royal family causing it to become normal to talk more about their lives rather than what is going on around the world with things such as Isis and Iraq. We talk more about celebrities than we do our own citizens such as military for risking their lives. We talk more the royal family in Britain than we do our own first family here at home. Society chooses that this is normal. Society has chosen that the lives of celebrities are more important and better to talk about than someone serving their country.

In order to break the mold, everyone needs to find something that makes them individual. It could be something such as being good in a certain subject such as math, or something like myself such as dedicating your life to dance.

The America that I want to grow up in, is one where everyone is their own person. I want to hear what everyone really thinks, not what they are told to think. I want to see everyone do what they want to do, not what everyone thinks they should do. I want to see everyone taking action in society, and standing up for what they believe in and what they think is important. When I’m old and grey, I want to be able to look at our society and see individuals not a mass group of look a likes. Being individual and standing up for what you believe in, is normal society. All in all, I want to see everyone take action, and make a change, because if we can all stand for what is right, the new normal that society would have chosen, will be one that we can be proud of.


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