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The Power of a Smile
Why is it that we are judged based on the labels we are given by our peers? Why is it that us females are associated with the term slut when in all actuality we do not sleep around, crave sex, or lack respect for ourselves? Why is it that us females, who appear "too" thin, are associated with having eating disorders, like anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa, when in all actuality we do not refuse to maintain a healthy body weight, binge eat, excessively exercise, or pop dieting pills to drop a few pounds? Why is it that us females are associated with the term bitch when in all actuality we are powerful women who know what we want and aren’t afraid to get it? Speaking from experience and on behalf of my fellow females, disgraceful words like these are what begin to consume our minds and eat away at our well being. Degrading words like these are what obliterate every ounce of self-confidence we ever held and leave us with nothing more than meager self-esteem, insufficient dignity, scanty self-worth, and little to no respect. Demeaning words like these are not easily brushed off the shoulders, but taken to heart, and lead women to take dangerous actions that could potentially harm themselves, and cause them to fall into the perilous pit of depression, that without much time seems to become inescapable.

I used to be one of those girls who let the words of others get to me. I used to be one of those girls who would shrug the criticisms of others off and shove them under the rug, acting as if everything was fine on the outside, when in reality I was hurting on the inside far more than anyone knew. I used to be one of those girls who would let the torment of others dictate how I would perceive myself, and when I looked in the mirror I would see those labels that I had been identified with swarm me as an individual. Even if I knew for myself that those labels were untrue or erroneous, it still hurt. It still hurt that people I knew would pinpoint me as such things. I believe that labelling is a form of verbal abuse, “the excessive use of language to undermine someone’s dignity and security through insults or humiliation, in a sudden or repeated manner.” I’m not giving this speech to point fingers due to the fact that I am a victim of criticizing others too. It is by human nature that we label, categorize individuals by their flaws, and make snarky comments about others in order to build up our own self esteem and make us feel more comfortable in our own skin, however it needs to be stopped.

According to author Donna Labermeier of the Huffington Post, “the act of criticism creates a destructive force of energy, reaching much further than we imagine.” Labermeier then continues to describe how these condemnations generate negative energy. “When you throw negative energy at another human being, you are hurting him or her, whether you realize it or not. You have the ability to interfere with another’s self-esteem and self-worth, which changes who they are and how they perceive the world around them. At the same time, you are throwing negative energy out into the universe for yourself. What you put out is what you get back.” She adds the psychological side of her argument, arguing that “ when an individual lashes out at another, it’s a defense mechanism. Their behavior is a product of feelings and issues they are trying to cope with that have nothing to do with the other person. It is behavior that makes them appear ‘less than.’ They are announcing to others that they are not centered, and that there is an imbalance of harmony in their life which requires them to place blame somewhere.”

Like I mentioned before, I used to be caught up in what other people thought of me, what labels I had been given, as well as the expectations people held for me. It wasn’t until I sat down with my grandmother and she gave me the best words of wisdom that I will never forget. She said “you are you’re own person and words do not define who you are.” She said when it feels like people are against you, “use your beautiful smile to kill them with kindness.”

I smile a lot, probably more than most. I smile because I have a reason to smile. I smile because I wake up every day. I smile because I have a family who provides me with unconditional love and support. I smile because I have the power to be prosperous. I smile because I have the right to life, liberty, and happiness. I smile because I have a purpose in life. I smile because I mean it.

Smiling has opened my eyes to the fact that I live amongst a great deal of gloom, and that I am one of the lucky spirits who has the ability to cast light upon some of the darkness that encapsulates our world through the simple, yet potent act of smiling. I don’t know everyone’s life story or what struggles they are facing on a daily basis, but I do know that a simple raising of the cheek bones can alter someone’s day from worse to better.

I couldn’t say it better myself, so I’m going to quote author Leo Buscaglia; “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all which have the potential to turn a life around.”

A smile is something that is not superficial, but rather genuine, and the best medicine for the soul in my opinion.

In a TED Talk by Ron Gutman, it was discovered that “smiling is one of the most basic biologically uniform expressions of all humans.” In fact, “we are actually born smiling. Using 3-D ultrasound technology, we can now see that developing babies appear to smile even in the womb.”

In a 2010 study performed by Wayne State University that looked at pre-1950 baseball cards of major league players, it was discovered that smile intensity in photographs had the power to predict longevity. The study concluded that “the span of a baseball player’s smile could predict the span of his life. Players who didn’t smile in their pictures lived an average of only 72.9 years, whereas players with beaming smiles lived an average of almost 80 years.”

Did you know that smiling stimulates our brain reward mechanism in a way that even chocolate cannot match? “British researchers found that one smile can generate the same level of brain stimulation as up to two thousand bars of chocolate.”

Smiling is also good for our health. In fact, “smiling can help reduce the level of stress enhancing hormones, like cortisol, adrenaline, and dopamine, increase the level of mood enhancing hormones, like endorphins, and reduce overall blood pressure.”

In addition, smiling has the ability to make you look good in the eyes of others. “A recent study at Penn State University found that when you smile, you don't only appear to be more likeable and courteous, but you actually appear to be more competent.”

I want to grow old in an America where we do not let labels define us as human beings. I want to grow old in an America where my daughter won’t have to seek approval from others or be labelled with the stereotypical female descriptions. I want to grow old in an America where everyone is smiling and shedding light on the darkness of this world.

Thank you.


 * Sources **

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/donna-labermeier/negative-impact-of-criticism-_b_3829346.html

https://www.ted.com/talks/ron_gutman_the_hidden_power_of_smiling/transcript?language=en#t-415977

http://www.prevention-violence.com/en/int-151.asp