Kinsey+T’s+Final+AmEx+2013+Speech

=Title of Speech= A Is for Absence

=Text of Speech= Many of you may be wondering why I am wearing this scarlet letter A. No I am not the newest adulterer that has been proven guilty of her crime. I am in fact the daughter of the guilty one. I am the proof that my mother made one mistake and so did my biological father. Though only one of my parents really owned up to it. I decided to wear this letter today to signify and show visually how it really feels to be the daughter of a single mother. That's right I will be talking about single parenting and the children that are affected by it. The fact that I am the bastard while my absent father isn't is something I will never be able to comprehend. I refer to my father as the sperm donor. Though my mom may have not gone to a sperm clinic in order to become pregnant, this is all my father really is to me. My father is not dead, in jail, or living in another country. In fact he lives about 5 miles away from me. But the issue at hand is I have never met him, I have no idea who he is, I am just half of him if that matters to anyone or him. Though my father is well and alive I sometimes wish otherwise. I wish my father WAS in jail, I wish he DID lived in another country. With these circumstances he would have a valid excuse for never participating in my life. It's not like he doesn't know who I am, this year my mom and I moved to a new house and in this move I found letters. But these were not just old birthday cards that are fun to reread. These were letters my mom has sent my father each year I have grown trying to give him a chance to meet me and create a relationship with me. The worst thing is each letter was returned to sender my mother. He never wanted to meet me or in one letter he stated I as teenager must reach out to him(BECAUSE ITS MY RESPONSIBILITY). I feel rejected, that when I was born he able to leave so easily and it hurts very badly. It feels like I'm alone and I'm afraid that because of his absence I am completely screwed up which in fact may be true. But the thing is I could live with my life hurting this bad, but that other children have to live with this feeling of rejection hurts my heart the most. The knowledge that many children in our society struggle with these same feelings is the point of my speech today, and although I don't have all the answers I want to address and bring about discussion of the problem of absentee fathers. President Bill Clinton (the son of a single mother) once said something to the effect of "a child can make it if they have at least one strong adult in their corner". In my life this my mother, the one person who has always had my back and has raised me to be a person and woman that has the ability to be successful. My mother worked full time until I was about the age of three. This was until my grandmother died when I was three and mother no longer had any help from anyone else. Many people rejected her because of the decision she made of having me so with that did not stay by her side when she needed the help most. My mother knew that with being a single parent there was very good chance I would grow up to follow the wrong path. A path that would take me away from academics and being part of the fast lane and acting out in teenage years (mainly because she did those things possibly as the result HER dad not partipating much). So she decided to take care of me more and only take part time jobs. Though we have not had all the money we always wanted throughout my childhood, I believe because of the supervision my mother has given me this is one of the reasons I have been able to be a successful student and person while having a single mother. But not all single mothers are able to do this; give up all of there time from work in order to raise there child whole heartedly. My mother and I have many friends that are single mothers. Most them we met when I was first born so now their children have grown up and are now teenagers or pre-teens. But the mothers that are our friends are not like my mom. These are the single mother's that have full-time jobs and are full time mothers doing everything on their own with very little help. And because of the lack of supervision I believe that is why so many of their children are not doing well in school or college. Here are just some of their stories. There is Linda the full time working mother that works with special needs adults and her two children one boy and one girl. During childhood they both did pretty well in school and outside activities like any child really should and would. But now that they are both teenagers and their lives seem to be going downhill. The daughter of linda who is 13 has been kicked out of 2 of her classes at Anacapa for fighting with other students and being disrespectful to teachers and now has a half day in school everyday. Then the son now graduating, is always doped up, has been expelled from Foothill went to Gateway, tried El Camino it was to hard and then tranferred to Vista Real barely graduating. Then there is Sarah (the daughter of the single parent Sherri) who is now 20 years old has had a baby, has lost custody of that baby and is working at Burger King. This is not saying these mothers did not earnestly try, they both had them participate in many helpful community activities such as church, karate, band and sports. But I have to think if the father had been in their lives would they have grown up to be someone different. For me my answer is yes. Having more supervision and help may have saved those children from being truants. Having a father may have given them a better chance to fluorish in life during the critical teenage years. So you may be wondering if I have the answer to the problem of absentee fathers and how children faced with that predicament can do well even in the teen years. What I must tell you is I really don't have the answer. I don't know how to make fathers never give up on there kids. I don't know how to help a child without father, I have tried to be there for my friends with single moms and it seems like trying didn't help at all. It seems that some of my two parent family friends think my life is like an awesome episode of "Gilmore Girls". Well it's not I do not have a rockin 30 year old spunky mom. I DO NOT have grandparents ready to open their bank account for me to go to Yale (Though I'd be happy just to have grandparents). I do not have friends I can relate to like Lane. Most of my friends at Foothill have two parents are middle class and live in suburbia on the East end as an all american perfect family(which I know is not always black and white). But if you come on over to the West Side I think some of my friends would get an education. An education with an example of hardworking mothers doing it on their own in limited financial circumstances and the best mexican food you've ever tasted. No I do not have the answer to this harsh problem right now so many are affected by but I do have some solutions for the future. In the America I hope to grow old in I hope to see less absentee fathers. I hope to see communities reaching out to the individuals with single parents and helping them become successful students and for our society follow Mrs. Clinton's motto "It takes a village to raise a child". And Village-please hang in there even during the teen years when the going gets extremely rough. In the America I hope to see in my future I hope I have a loving husband that would never leave me or more importantly my child and if things didn't work out for us he wouldn't walk out on our child. Lastly, in the America I grow old in I hope to see ALL fathers realize they need to take 50% of the responsibility of bringing a child into the world. In the America I grow old in I hope to see woman rarely treated as an easy A. Thank you.

=Cite Your Sources= Kinsey's brain Kinsey's Heart