Giovanni+R’s+Final+AmEx+Speech+2017

I watch my ceiling once again, with earbuds satisfying both my ears and my mind. As the scene begins to set, and the screen begins to play in front of me. I close my eyes.

“Damn, we gotta hurry, late to the sunday service. Last night I hit the town, late I was on the screw juice swervin’ “ -Tut

As I woke up, for my first day of school, a fear had continue to grow. The world was against me, and I had felt alone, in situations I could not handle forever. Now, I’m here presenting my final speech, to tell you about nightmares.

There has always been a part of me, scared of every single possible scenario. I would say,”Giovanni, don’t go camping, you’ll definitely have to drop kick a bear, or maybe you’ll be bit by a black widow and die, forever… I don’t know if you know this Giovanni, but forever is a long time!”

But this had quickly grown into a different type of fear. As I had looked in the mirror trying to look good to impress those around me, the popular ones, my close friends, the teachers, the adults, and the girls *insert winky face here*. I don’t know if you notice the problem here, but I do. I had lacked the self esteem to be who I wanted to be, because all the fears that had built the way I am today. I did not have the confidence to talk to anyone, because of what they could think. I could not believe that I would make it through AP. I hold myself back with certain things, because it scares me. That is going to stop now, I will not be controlled by my thoughts and worries.

What has brought me to this point? Well maybe that’s just how the dice was rolled, and the hand I had received. I’m not alone on this one, because this is a problem within the generation. Whether it is the teenage boy asking for nudes, and breaking the girls heart, or whether it is the parental abuse. Whatever the problem is, I always got brought to this solution. I want change.

I want to live in a world where someone’s identity is not determined by a race. I want a world where there is no such thing as objectifying a woman. I want a world where a man does not have to feel the need to sell drugs, or kill for food on his plate. I want a world where a gun isn’t pointed at another just because they live under a different flag. I want a world where I don’t fear for what I see on my television screen. But, where would I be without these mistakes.

All these evils, and fears that creep through our lives may be horrible, but I try to remember the good. I remember my first love, but not why it ended. I remember all the challenges I faced the beginning of this year, but now I’m alive and well. I remember being scared to talk to crowds, but now I speak with more confidence. I have learned, and that is why I am here. To learn from all that life decides to throw into my face.

So whatever hell you try to throw at me, just know I’m going to do my best, to be my best. I’m going to do my best see real love, and to feel connected to another; not for only her body, but someone where I can understand their soul. I’m going to do my best to see others smile, and have my friend group expand, so that we can all learn to understand one another. I’m going to do my best so that I can see everyone in this room smile, when they need to. So when you ask me what I want from this world, I want one where we can learn to understand each other. I already have told myself that I will never hate anyone from now on, dislike; okay maybe, but I don’t believe in hate. If you want to join me, go ahead. Follow your goals, but don’t kill another's spirits for your own gain. Learn to love yourself, but learn to love others. I know everyone has got problems, so we ain’t getting anywhere without each other.

But, no matter who they hell you are, you aren’t stopping me. Nothing can stop me, not even fear, or myself. I WILL BE GOOD, if not you have permission to slap the shit out of me.

I have a lot to say. So much in fact. As I get further through the year it has opened my eyes to things such as people being peer pressured into drugs. Which are used as a numb to all that surrounds, all the problems we face. But in reality I don't worry about the weed you are smoking. I worry about you. Some people get lost in their sadness and lose purpose. Don't be that. If that stuff makes life easier go ahead, but don't lose you! Sometimes we tend to feel alone and hold in all these feelings. I want you to know that. No matter how bad you feel. You aren't alone. Someone cares for you, I care for you. People care for you, so don't give up.

It doesn’t matter if you are black, white, asian, hispanic. It doesn’t matter your religion. It doesn’t matter if you are male or female. And it doesn’t matter if you are loud or quiet. Don’t give up.

But why? Why should I care? Well, because, “I swear I’m tired of doing shit on purpose, but doing it without a purpose. A lotta ‘people’ doing shit on purpose, but doing it without a purpose.” -Tut