Devan+P’s+Final+AmEx+2014+Speech

=Title of Speech=

"Communications Skills"

**Text of Speech**

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who made you feel like you were the only person in the room? Who focused on what you were saying, making it seem like what you were saying was the most important thing in the world? Who eliminated distractions and focused on you during the entire conversation? Who looked confidently in your eyes without being awkward? Who made you feel comfortable, but yet somehow knew when to alter the course of a conversation when you didn't care to go any deeper? Someone who made you feel like longtime friends even if you just met? Someone who just had a really good handshake? Someone who seemed to have impeccable manners? Someone who forced a smile on your face without making a joke?

Although I am in no way going to be demonstrating those skills during the duration of this speech. Those kinds of people make you feel good. They are capable of intimate conversation. They make you feel important and productive. Those kinds of people are good communicators.

A few people really stick out in my mind as good communicators. One of which used to make us all feel loved as we walked into his room and he greeted us with a handshake and a warm smile. We recently lost Mr. Prewitt, but the impact of his presence on us all of us cannot be understated. Although it is a lofty goal, that is the kind of impact that can be made by being an exceptional communicator.

For some reason, I don't get to have as many of those great conversations as I would like. I don't think it is because they are magical happenings, which only occur when two people coincidentally share the same wave lengths with each other. I think it has something to do with the evolution of our culture. Whether it is the influence of our cell phones, social media, or some other cause, people are losing their ability to be good communicators. I think that apart from just blaming it on cell phones and social media which certainly play a main role, I think that this lack is due to other issues as well: society doesn't stress face to face communication skills as much anymore, and people lack confidence in themselves, their ideas, and their communication skills. Although the use electronic modes of communication are without a doubt necessary and useful in modern society, it has become normal for people to excel when using those forms of communication, and to falter in the more important area of face to face interaction. A social norm has been created that accepts not looking into a people's eyes when you speak to them, not saying hello to people unless you know them well, and using your phone to speak instead of your mouth; all of which limits the amount of face to face communication a person receives any given day.

The receding amount of conversational skills has a negative impact on individuals and society as a whole. People crave intimacy and relations with each other, and one of the best ways to achieve this is through conversation, but if people are losing their ability to communicate, they are losing their ability to have intimacy and to form good relationships. Apart from morale, communication skills are also essential for progression. At the root of every successful company are successful communicators, and successful leaders who can successfully communicate with their employees. I think that the government could use a few more good communicators.

Another problem I am seeing is with manners. A perfect example occurs almost daily in my life: I hold the door open for people. Everyone has been taught what to do if someone holds the door for them, you simply say thanks. However, the average amount of people who say thank you each day is FAR outweighed by the average amount of people who either completely ignore it or skirt by, trying not to make eye contact. I'm not trying to throw a pity party for myself, it happens to everyone. What I am saying is, come on guys it isn't that hard to say thanks. Little things like that make a big difference.

A second example comes from the way that kids are starting to regard adults. I don't know about you, but I was taught to respect my parents and to respect other peoples' parents maybe even more. If you don't have specific guidance from an adult not to, it is proper to regard them as Mr. of Mrs., not only does it look good for you to be using good manners, but it will also make them feel good. However, it is not just in calling people Mr. or Mrs. or holding the door or saying thank you, those are just examples of the little things that are losing their emphasis but that are actually important.

Why be polite? Manners and respect are two things that can get you a long way in life. They make people feel good about themselves and about you. By being respectful to others you will earn respect for yourself. Being polite helps things go smoothly and avoids conflict. Having good manners improves your stance in life, while also making life easier for yourself and others.

One thing that I don't think that people realize is that in order to become a good communicator and a polite individual, it takes practice. Don't shy away from a conversation. Say hi to people even if you don't know them very well; if they don't know who you are, don't worry, they will feel super popular. Shake hands with as many people as you can, a great conversation often starts with a great handshake, and often so does a great career. I think that many people are discouraged from practicing because of failed attempts, whether through awkward conversations, greetings, or using the wrong manners. It is important to remember developing the ability to consistently carry on solid conversations and to have impeccable manners takes lots of practice and failed attempts, but it is worth it in the long run. Some of you may be thinking, "Well this is easy for you to say, but what about the introverts among us, who simply don't like talking to people, or who are scared to talk to people?" That it doesn't make communication skills or manners any less important to them, if anything it makes those things more important, because they don't say much, so what they do say needs to be as effective as possible. Admittedly, those people are going to need more practice, but I have confidence in saying that just about everyone among us has the ability to become a good communicator, or if not that, at least the ability to say thanks to the guy who is holding the door open for them.

Having good social skills can be a huge asset. Whether it be in family life, with friends, or while in the workplace, your ability to interact face to face with people is a major factor in your success. Starting with family life, being able to properly communicate feelings and ideas with other members of your family while being respectful to one another, is essential in having a strong family unit. In the workplace, not only can communication skills land you a job through the interview process, but it will also aid in your ability to work with others and get things done. The overarching theme with all of these things is that communication skills make people like you or at least respect you. Respect is given to those who give respect. Whether you want to accept it or not, having people like and respect you is actually important. It is important not only for making you feel good, but also for advancing your career, and having a good social standing. It helps you form good relationships and find a spouse if that is what you are interested in. Let's face it: if people don't like you, life is harder. Not to mention that making other people feel good, is important as well. Dana isn’t so loved because of what he does for all of us, he is loved because of his exceptional people skills and persona that makes people feel good.

In the world that I grow old in, I want to see and hear people that can communicate. Not on a cell phone, not through email, not looking all around the room, I want to see good communicators. In the world that I grow old in, I want to see more people's eyes. I want to feel more solid handshakes. I want there to be more people who care about what others are saying. I want to feel comfortable and to make others feel comfortable when they are talking to me. I want to see more people who make you feel like the only one in the room when you talk to them.

I want to see more polite gestures, more please and thank you, more Mr.'s and Mrs., and more doors opened by fewer hands. I want to see a revival of chivalry as the expectation. I want to see more parents teaching their kids to honor their elders and to earn respect by giving it. I want to see more people making the little efforts to make life easier for others.

Although none of us will ever be perfect in these aspects of life, I think that a conscious attempt to improve these areas will have a positive benefit in our individual lives and our society in general.

=Cite Your Sources=