Emma+K’s+Final+AmEx+Speech+2016


 * Be Kind **

At Foothill, there is one thing I see everyday that makes me sad. I see it everywhere: in Ventura, and in our whole country. I see too much competition. Somehow, our society has developed into a place where the only way we can feel good about ourselves is by putting others down. Many people I see and hear don’t find inherent value in themselves. The only way they can respect themselves is if they disrespect others. I see this at Foothill in how people compliment each other. Instead of a simple “you’re awesome,” compliments center around “you’re better than her”, or “you’re smarter than him.” Maybe it’s because we feel we are in constant competition: to be the coolest, the smartest, and get into the top school. I mean, we can’t all get into Harvard right?

Except, maybe that’s not what matters. Competition isn’t really all that healthy. Because while we are told there can only be one best person, and while this is reinforced into us from a young age, it’s simply not true. Maybe only one of us will get into that top school, but all of us will get into a school that is right for us. Maybe only a few of us will be Valedictorian, but all of us can form close relationships with our teachers. Maybe only one of us will make a billion dollars, but all of us can lead happy and fulfilling lives. While there may be some goals that only one of us will achieve, the most important goals all of us can. And we will all be happier if we don’t focus on comparing ourselves, and instead focus on making ourselves the best we can be.

If you do want to be highly successful, being competitive probably isn’t the best way to go. Business Insider states that one of the eight things all successful people have in common is that they provide value to others. It tells those looking to be successful to ask themselves who they serve, and what they can give to those people. If you are looking to be successful by using others, and looking only at yourself, you aren’t going to get very far. Now, I hope that we can all just focus on more important things than comparison, but if you can’t, then maybe the fact that you’ll likely be more successful is a good persuader. We can even look at many of the successful people we see in the world. Look at the leaders of countries. They are not lone wolves who are focused only on themselves. To be elected, many of them have strong families, and show sincere kindness and selflessness in their daily lives. This is not a coincidence. Most people look for qualities like kindness in a leader, as well as other qualities that go hand in hand with kindness, such as empathy.

When you compare too often, you end up hurting people. You put others down to bring someone up. It makes me angry to hear people insulting others in order to support their friends. Everyone has something great about them, and we should all focus on that. Our world lacks positivity and optimism. We should try to shape our support around thoughtfulness, not comparison.

I bet most people here have had put-down comments said about them. I don’t know why this has to be the case. While our first response may be to get angry, we should all take a step back. I want people to know that the best response is simple. Just smile.

Smile in the face of adversity. People do something mean, smile. Ultimately, the reason they are being mean is because of their own insecurity and fears. Most likely, what they need is someone to be kind to them. Instead of continuing the cycle of negativity we should all try to show respect and kindness to our peers. I hope we can all understand that happiness and respect are not gained by stepping on the backs of others. If you are one of those people who can only achieve things by pushing others down, you may just need to take a hard look at your life and question what matters to you. If your goal isn’t to just be alone at the top, then maybe consider showing more kindness.

We must have compassion for everyone. If someone is being mean, then there is no reason to be mean back and show hate towards them. This won’t accomplish anything. There is no reason to be petty. It might feel good at that moment, but in the long run you’ll be a better person if you refrain.

The America I want to grow old in is one filled with kindness. Where people go out of their way to help others, not hurt them. Where we can be supportive of other’s successes, even if it comes with the sacrifice of our own. When I look at my role models, they are not the people who make the most money and have the most power. They are the people who are the nicest and the kindest. This won’t be true for everyone, but I hope some people here can learn to value kindness. For those who have been hurt by the cruelty of others, smile at them, and make yourself kinder. You are the bigger person, and are making the world a better place.

Being kind can start at Foothill, but it has the capability to extend much further. Our world could benefit greatly from kindness and respect. Many of the biggest problems in the world are caused by hate and a lack of empathy. Some studies show that focusing on kindness can lead to an increase in empathy. When we do not feel empathy, we lose our ability to connect with people different from us. We start feeling distant from people from different countries, or with different skin colors. Stopping excessive competition can also have these same benefits. By comparing countries and cultures, we increase the “us versus them” mentality, which leads to hate.

We all have it in us to be kind and thoughtful, we just have to try harder. We all have times when we are feeling angry or have urges to be mean and gossipy. However, we can stop this. I’ll leave you with a few suggestions from the Huffington Post on how to be kinder. We can all start being kinder today, we just have to be more mindful.

“1. Be kind to you. If you’re not taking care of yourself … your well is empty. Then it’s too easy to become resentful and impatient, [and too hard to] .. be kind to others. 2. Speak from your heart. This step is vital. Taking a breath, reaching deep, and speaking kindly and authentically is far better than sharing what’s on my mind about what I need from others. 3. Be interested, not interesting. Being genuinely interested is a high level of caring and compassion. These words from the ancient philosopher Plato have recently been popular sharing material — and no wonder. 4. Be positive. ... 5. Give up gossip. Recently I’ve made a vow to give up gossiping, and it’s made me realize how prevalent it is. It’s so easy to get caught up in an enticing yet unkind conversation about someone else. But if you’ve ever been the target of gossip, as I have been, you know how painful it can be. 6. Forgive and forget. Yes, you’ve been wronged and you’ve been hurt. Yes, there are those who get angry with you and criticize you — and you want them to stop. But the best course is to forgive them, forget the past, and go to work being kind to them. Then watch for miracles. 7. Let it go! The only payoff for holding on to our grudges is being right.” We should all try to remember that everyone has their own struggle. And if we stop focusing so much on comparison and competition, and focus more on kindness and happiness, we will all be better off.

Thank you.


 * Sources **

[|__https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201310/the-neuroscience-empathy__]

__ [] __