Charlotte+C’s+Final+AmEx+Speech+2016



EW.

Now let me just start this off by saying that I am not a germaphobe. I am not afraid of germs, or dirt, or human contact. But when someone asks me for a bite, or a sip, or a lick of something that I am eating, I cringe. Not because I love food and don't want to share it, but because my perfectly pure and uncontaminated food after that one bite that you take will forever have your germs on it. Every bite that I take after you try some of my food will never be the same. While I chew each bite proceeding yours, I will think of how your saliva is now an extra ingredient in my meal that was very uncalled for.

Now, you may tell me that there is a very simple solution to my very pointless problem, that all I have to do is say no. When someone asks me for a bite, I should just tell them no if it bothers me that much. But you see, I can’t actually do that because of the social contract that deems it rude for me to say no. There is this unsaid agreement that forces me to share my food so I am not thought of as “rude or disrespectful”. Trust me, I have tried to say no, but when I say no, people think that it is because I have a problem with sharing, they assume that I never learned how to share back in the preschool days. But that is not true. I am fine with sharing as long as your germs do not contaminate my food. I've even tried explaining to some people that I just really don’t want to share their saliva. The response to that is “what, are we not good enough friends?” I swear that it is nothing personal. I just really don't want to consume your saliva. I want to know why it is such a horrible thing for me to say no to sharing my food. Why is it that society automatically labels you as rude for not giving someone a lick of your ice cream?

The majority of the food that I eat, I have no problem with sharing with my friends. If you can break off a piece of whatever i’m eating, I will be happy to give you some. If you use your own spoon for any sort of soup or dessert or liquidy thing i am eating, take as much as you would like. If you have your own straw, let's definitely share a drink. THere are so many things that I will share with you, but there is also a fairly specific list that is very hard for me to share with you, but I am forced to because of this binding social contract that I never agreed to. Ice cream for example. On the rare occasion that I have ice cream on a cone, NEVER ask me for a lick. Thats disgusting. We are licking the same thing. EW. Or let’s say i have ice cream in a bowl and you use my spoon for a bite. You know how when you have ice cream from a spoon and there's the little spitty remains at the bottom of the spoon? DO NOT give that back to me expecting me to consume that. Eat ALL of it, not just half of it, giving me the partially eaten portion of it.

The whole purpose of me telling you this is to demonstrate that there are things in our everyday lives that we must do, even though we don't want to. For me, it's sharing food. But for others, they really couldn’t care less about sharing their food. Maybe to them, it's the task of doing a favor for someone. For example, if you are in another room from someone, and they ask you to bring them a remote, or a blanket or something that they could easily get on their own, you must get up and bring it to them because you are “closer” to the object. Yes, you may be closer, but you still have to stop what you are doing to bring them an item that they could have gotten up and retrieved. The thing is, even though you don't want to get up and bring the the item, you do it anyways because if you don't, you are considered rude and unhelpful.

The fact that I am pretty much forced to do simple things just because people will judge me doesn't sit right with me. That means that people do things for each other not out of kindness, but from the fear that they won’t come across as “helpful”There is this social expectation put upon us that we must do things a certain way. If asked, we must share our food, or do someone a favor, or lend them our stuff. Now I am not saying that we should not do these things. But we should do these things because we want to, not because we feel forced to.The America that I want to live in is one where people do favors for each other out of the goodness of their heart, not because they feel obligated to. People should help others, or share their food because they genuinely want to. I also want to live in an america where I am not judged for not wanting to share my food. A place where people understand that some things should just not be shared. I want the social expectation to be removed so that people can be who they want to be, and not be deemed “rude” for not doing a simple task, like sharing their food. Do things because you want to, not because you have to. Thank you.