Ari+S’s+Final+AmEx+Speech+2017

I am beautiful. Now I know what some of you are thinking “ CONCEIT EEEEEE DD!” but is there really anything wrong with my confidence as a woman. Ever since from a young age I’ve always struggled with image positivity, but now I’m proud of what my genes have produced, “ A+ to you puberty”, but I haven’t always looked or been this way. I’m going to take you back to time where the slightest thing you said to me would cause me to stay in the schools bathroom for hours during the day trying to fix my “caterpillar eyebrows” or “what's that on your face?” or my personal favorite the sound of a pig two boys made while I ate my lunch.

It all started in elementary school. I was fascinated by this colorful “lotion” my sister was dowsing all over her face causing her acne to disappear. I was curious about it, I decided to try it. In the early morning before anyone woke up I smeared a good handful onto my face and watched as this magical elixir did its job and cured my face of any if any imperfections I might have had. As I walked into my classroom for school some of the people were snickering in the corner, occasionally glancing over in my direction, I thought nothing of it for god sakes I thought I looked hot! A while later I was over by my cubby grabbing my snack for nutrition and one of the girls walked over towering over me and said “Did you die? You look like a ghost?” Out of my horror and realization foundation is not “one size fit all” kind of thing. My embarrassment and longing to be “perfect” I sprinted to the bathroom only to spend the entire 20 minute break scraping off the makeup, to my dismay foundation does not come off with just water. I walked back to class with red streaks from the harsh paper towels being rubbed across my face again and again and again to the point where the faintest droplets of blood were sneaking out of my pores. Next encounter with imperfection. I had just won the most intense game of “Hide and Go Seek Tag” of my life, but the bell for break just ended we all walked back to our class, and me being the champion I thought nothing could knock me off my pedestal. As lunch rolled around the whale noises that ensued my stomach were at an all time high and I could wait to get my hands on the chicken nuggets, grapes, and milk they were serving at lunch today. I came out of the lunch line and I couldn’t find my best friend so I just took a seat where the lunch lady was pointing to and I began to eat. I was famished I was eating so fast it had been like this was the first time experiencing food. Then directly across from me these two boys kept looking at me then giving each other “the look”. I began to hear a subtle sound emulating from their annoying mouth holes. Oink oink oink. And again oink oink oink. They laughed. I was mortified I had no idea I had been eating incorrectly all this time. I slowed the eating of my grapes and kept my head down the remainder of lunch. I had been blown off my pedestal.

My stories are so optimistic aren’t they! Don’t worry almost done.

Middle school! What a time to be alive and be in the most awkwardest stages of your life. I had fixed my face and no longer wore the foundation that had been far too light but instead I switched to an all powder routine that was half powder half weird sparkly stuff. I remember fondly of my knee high converse, my bright blue pants, and my purple cardigan I couldn’t go 2 days without wearing. It was about 7th grade when I noticed all the boys were flaunting over this one girl and I couldn't figure out why. We had been friends since elementary school, I practically lived at her house but now she had disappeared out of my life to go hangout with “the boys” at lunch. As I came to realize puberty and the gene gods blessed her at a young age, and I was still the ugly duckling that still ate like a piggy. I know it's horrible but I wanted their attention I felt left out by “the cool kids” eventually puberty came for me but only blessed me with a face full of zits and the realization blue pants are not flattering on anyone. That's when they decided to talk to me but not in a way I was hoping. I was outside of my math class when two boys from the group let’s called them tweddle dee and tweedle dumb told me that their friend liked me and that I should KIK him. Not literally kick him but that stupid messaging app. Naturally I was overjoyed that this boy actually likes me! I gave them my number in hope somehow the slip of paper would eventually end up in the hands of the boy who supposedly had a crush on me. A week later I had been making failed attempts at the flirting with constant immediate shut downs to any questions I asked. Me being the naive person I was thought that this is what liking someone meant you do. The following monday rolled around and to no avail he was still not engaging in the conversation, however, outside of my math class the boy who had supposedly liked me was nowhere in sight but tweedle dee and tweedle dumb were. I walked up to them thinking I was friends with them, I mean it was perfect logic they set me up with their friend so I’m apart of the cool kids, right? Completely and utterly wrong. They began to tell me the whole thing was a lie and that they just wanted to see how dumb I could be to believe the “supposed crush” could ever want to be with a girl like me. I never went to math class that day.

Beauty has always been around me, whether it was my sisters who radiate beauty through their smiles or my friends who remind me of disney princesses sometimes. I struggled with the need for perfection so much it caused me to spend hours trying to fix something that was already perfect to begin with. Now I don't believe beauty just has to do with your face it comes from your heart. Your beauty will shine through causing a certain glow about you. My beauty although gets covered up by makeup every day each night I wash the day away and I’m left with an amazing woman who is staring back at me and I'm proud to be her. And so today you're going to see my beauty as well. No tricks no photoshop no makeup just me, beautiful me. *wipe off makeup. In an America I want to grown old in I want my wrinkly skin to be a sign of wisdom not aging and death. For my children and grandchildren I want them to grow up in a society where the words Phat with a ph are used only by idiots and not used as complements. In an America I want to grow old in I want the word “beautiful” to be told each girl and boy everyday so that they never forget they are. Thankyou.