Lucy+Liao,+Lucy+Final+AmEx+2013+Speech



= = =Title of Speech= "On Being Judged and Not Caring" by **L**ucy the **W**onderful

=Text of Speech=

Introductions to speeches are always the worst part of speeches, next to having to do the actual speech itself (especially this speech, because as far as I’m concerned I mentally checked out of high school on May 15th at approximately 12 PM). I figured that however I decided to start my speech, it would either be awkward, or seem like I tried too hard, or it would just be flat and boring, or all of the above. Figuring out what to do my speech on was also a task I faced with much difficulty. I didn’t want to do too serious of a speech, because I can only tolerate the sound of my own voice alongside dead silence for so long. I didn’t want to do a funny speech because, seeing as I’m the opposite of funny, the only laughs I would be able to elicit would either be A) my own laughs, or B) pity laughs, like the ones we give Mr. Perfect after he reveals the chiste del dia, which to my recollection, have never, ever been funny (in fact the only thing I find funny in that class isn’t the jokes but the fact that even after three years of high school Spanish I still can’t read books written for first graders). But after groveling over the fact that I can’t write funny speeches, or write any sort of speech for that matter, I realized something.

//**I care too much.**//

I care too much about what people think about me. The main obstacles that I faced when writing this speech did not have to do with the speech itself, but rather my peers’ reactions to it. I didn’t, initially, want to write about something I was necessarily passionate about, I wanted to write about something people would enjoy. My entire life I’ve lived like this – extremely aware of other people’s perceptions of me. I didn’t want to come off as too weird or too obnoxious, and in the end, the only thing I came off as was, as a result of my cautiousness, too quiet. I thought being “quiet” was a refuge from the slander or rumors I might’ve otherwise been victim to had I been loud or popular, but I was wrong. So, so wrong. If you type into Google “the quiet ones are”, the first results are literally “the quiet ones are the most dangerous”, “the freakiest”, and, “always the worst”, respectively. If you go so far as to actually look at the search results, there are literally forums and discussions on quiet people, as if they are some sort of human subspecies plotting revenge against their more obnoxious brethren. So, naturally, my realization of this made me even more anxious, because I was now aware that quiet people were not only fair game when it comes to being labeled, but they were a popular target for unwarranted stereotypes.

My own experiences with stereotypes came not long after my realization. I’ve heard the comments “Lucy, stop being so loud” and “Wow, she talks!” more times than I can count, and even from teachers. And it might seem like a lighthearted joke or a casual comment, but after hearing this more times over the span of a few weeks than hearing “AP stands for Answer the freaking Prompt” over the span of the whole year, I can assure you that 1) it’s not funny and 2) it’s hard to take it lightheartedly, especially after having it hammered into your head a billion times over. It’s gotten to the point where these seemingly offhand comments have made me refrain from doing or saying or being a part of certain things, because it would not be typified as normal behavior from a “quiet, shy kid”. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve gone to ridiculous lengths just to not appear awkward in public, like walking around the whole mall instead of turning around after realizing I had missed the store I meant to go into. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve allowed other people’s opinions to hold more value over my own.

But I’ve realized, it’s not the judgments or labels that are continually pushing me back into the “quiet kid” stereotype – it’s my own preconceived idea that the world will explode if I don’t fit exactly the cookie cutter image that people have made for me. I used to justify my lack of self confidence with the idea that “if others don’t have faith in me, how am I supposed to have faith in myself?” But at times where I’ve pushed past the skepticism of others, I’ve gained nothing but good. From performing at Air Guitar last year, to making it into the competitive dance crew Emanon, to winning presidency of KIWIN’S despite all the talk behind my back, I’ve realized that my biggest enemy when it comes to breaking past the stereotypes is not the stress or the level of difficulty, but mere skepticism. I’ve realized that other people’s preconceived notions of who I am as a person have little to no correlation to who I //actually// am as a person. I’ve realized that it’s stupid to value the opinions of those who have known me for less than a few years over the opinions of myself, because I’ve kind of known myself for like 16 years now…

So, it’s time to stop caring. It’s time to stop doubting yourself, it’s time to stop being someone you’re not just to fit others’ impressions of you. It’s time for America to be more apathetic. I address the whole of America because I know for a fact I am not alone in my overt sense of self awareness. The signs of the human desire to be wanted and accepted are blatantly and desperately obvious, and you might as well put a flashing sign next to social networking. After all, what is Facebook to the average teen besides a way to prove to your peers that you actually have a life? What is Instagram to the average teen besides a popularity contest to see how many likes your picture can garner?

So, in the America I grow old in, I wish to see more apathy – apathy not towards academics or politics or other things of general importance, but towards the irrelevant, the insignificant, the unimportant. Don’t let people’s judgments stop you from listening to One Direction or Justin Bieber if you legitimately like them. Don’t deny your hatred of horror movies or do stupid things just to avoid being called a pussy. Don’t live your own life in pursuit of other people’s satisfaction, because odds are people don’t care as much as you think, so you shouldn’t either. The average short term memory is between 15 and 30 seconds, and considering the fact that items only stay in short term memory by repeating them, alongside the fact that we are here 6 hours a day in order to remember things like the formed elements of blood or how to differentiate equations, the fact that your shirt was inside out or that there’s a rip in your pants will probably be the last thing your peers remember.

I’m not going to tell you to reserve your judgments. I’m not going to ask for a less judgmental America, because that will probably never happen. After all, first impressions are just a euphemism for first judgments. But what I do wish to see is a more confident America – an America where people can dismiss challenges to their character, whether it be from themselves or from their peers. I wish to see an America where people don’t build themselves upon what others see them as, but what **they** wish to see themselves as.

And so, to end my speech, I leave you with a quote from someone who was perhaps one of the most apathetic towards other people’s opinions of him, someone who would, without a doubt, not care if he knew that most of this class strongly dislikes him, someone who most of us know as the guy who accidentally burned down 300 acres of woods and nearly set fire to Concord, yet failed to mention it in his publication of Walden.

//“Be yourself – not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be”.// –Henry David Thoreau

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