Shannon+T’s+Final+AmEx+2013+Speech



= = =Title of Speech= "Tiger Parents." =Text of Speech= The last time either of my parents told me they were proud of me was when I was in the seventh grade, when I won a piano competition. Not when I “graduated” from 8th grade, not when I got a 4.0, not when I got an honorable mention at a really high level piano competition. They are only proud when I am number one, the best.

When I wake up in the morning, I usually don’t see my parents. I’ll go straight into the shower, my dad will be leaving for work, and my mom will still be sleeping. I don’t really care much for how I look, especially when I’m half awake in the morning, so I’ll just throw on whatever seems comfortable for the day, so long as I deem it socially acceptable. My parents realize this, yet my mother, on a daily basis, feels the need to remind me that my outfit looks terrible, that I look fat or ugly, or something along the lines of that.

Yes, my parents want me to be perfect, and yes, I do have the so-called typically Asian "Tiger Parents."

This all began in middle school, aka the dark ages for 90% of most teenagers. In retrospect, I suppose this change in character was my fault. You see, sixth grade was the year I decided to stop caring. Like so many other teenagers (well, I was a pre-teen at the time), I wanted to fit in and stop feeling like the shy, strange nerd that no one really liked. So, being young and foolish, I let my grades slip. In exchange, I received friends who in the end didn’t mean much to me, and the constant yelling and obvious disappointment from my parents. It started out with them just screaming about my grades, which was totally understandable, but then it quickly moved onto things that were either beyond my control or were just part of who I am. Slowly but surely, they drove me to the point where I hated myself, and felt the need to take drastic measures like becoming bulimic. Rest assured, I’ve long accepted the fact that I am who I am, and I no longer do such things to try to make myself more “socially acceptable.”

I would like to think I'm doing better now, and that I'm a better person. I’m taking challenging courses, and getting fairly decent grades in all of them. I don’t do drugs, I don’t drink, I don’t party. I have good friends who also try their best in everything they do, and who, like me, don’t do anything that is illegal or obviously stupid (well, I'm not sure about you, Dee. Just kidding). Apart from the occasional days where I just completely shut down and do nothing but wallow in self-pity, I do try my best. Yet it never seems like I am good enough for my parents. Like I said earlier, they want me to be perfect.

Don’t get me wrong, I wish I was that for them. I wish with everything I have that I was just good enough for the people whose opinion matters the most to me. Perhaps if I got a 2300 or above on my SAT or got straight A+’s in all of my courses my parents would be satisfied, but I think it’s become more than that. My parents disapprove of everything and anything I do, and I am fairly confident that they’re ashamed to say that I’m their daughter.

In the America I want to grow old in, I don’t want children to feel like they need to fight to gain their parents’ approval. A parent’s love for their child should be unconditional, and even if they screw up every once in a while (which is bound to happen), they will love them regardless.

Even though I have spent this whole speech complaining about my parents, I ask that you allow me to clarify my opinion on them. I love my parents, and I truly do appreciate everything they do for me. I know that my parents have worked incredibly hard their entire life just to be able to survive. My dad was adopted and came to America from Korea at the age of 13, and he knew absolutely no English. Yet he pushed himself to the limit, and got a job at the age of 16. He then spent the rest of his young adult life not in college, but in the work force just so he was able to support his entire family and survive. My mother moved here at the age of 36 due to her marriage with my father, and she too knew no English. Beforehand, in Korea, she too had to miss out on a college life so she could support her paralyzed father, frail, sickly mother, and brothers who had problems with alcohol and gambling. So I completely understand where they’re coming from, and why they believe so strongly in an excellent work ethic, and in pushing yourself beyond the point you think you are possible able to reach. And regardless of what I said before and how I feel, I know that the reason why they push me to my breaking point is because they believe that I am strong enough to work past it.

In the America I become an adult and possibly a parent in, I want to see parents who care for their children as much as mine do me.

So where does that leave me? I hate that my parents push me so hard, but I love that they have faith in me. Well, I think that’s just a part of growing up. Teenagers have a tendency to do the opposite of what their parents say to do, especially if the parents press their aspirations for the child too much, and I think that a large part in maturing is being able to step back and realize that your parents do what they do because they care. So perhaps I never will really understand why my mom needs to remind me that I’m fat, or why my dad refuses to ever soothe my ego when I do something right, but c’est la vie, or that’s life.

In the America I want to grow up in, I want to see children becoming appreciative of their parents. They may drive you bonkers at times, but we all know in our hearts that they will always love and care for you the most. When we look back at all of these old times after our parents eventually pass away, we’ll look back at all these spats and laugh. And I would like to believe that, especially for me, I’ll be able to remember all of those rare instances where my parents said they were proud of me or that I looked nice that day, because I know I’ll appreciate those moments just that much more.

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