Michelle+P’s+Final+AmEx+2014+Speech

=That Hatred Thing.=

Hi, I’m Michelle Pablo, and I am a hater. Yes, in case some of you weren’t aware, I tend to hate people, and may benefit from an anger management class. But hey, the first step to recovery is to admit I have a problem right? In my defense, if you’re on my good side, I’m actually considerably bubbly, and though I may tease you from time to time, I’ll be there for you in the end if you let me. So I’m not an entirely hateful person. But I digress. I seriously struggled to choose a topic for this speech, so with the due date quickly approaching, I decided to write about something I feel has been a big part of my junior year- I’m ashamed to admit it, but that “thing” is hatred. Before I go on, because hate can be a very strong word, I just want to clarify that my definition of hatred for the purpose of this speech is not meant to be an extreme, dangerous thing. When I say I am a hater I really mean that these people have just, (I feel) continuously mistreated me, and I tend to hold resentment towards them. The word “hate” is just the closest and easiest way I can express this without repeating that previous sentence throughout this whole speech.

Moving on, I’m one of those people that’s always had plans for things, and I don’t always cope well when certain things don’t work out how I anticipated, especially big things like my goal for school or my life long dream I had hoped to achieve for skating. I’ve had to realize that I need to start letting go of this dream over the past year, which has been devastating to me. I (and I realize now it was mostly to beat my sister) had set a goal to be Valedictorian, and though I’ve tried my best this year, that goal is not getting achieved. Among all of these realizations, I’ve also dealt with tough family affairs at home, losing loved ones, and feeling like I’ve lost my family at skating, which is my second home, and my best friend of 13 years seemed to decide our friendship wasn’t important anymore. I won’t go into detail with everything, but honestly dealing with all of these things and pressure from school did make me depressed for a considerable chunk of this year. As a result, I think I was extra irritable, and it contributed to my hatred towards others, which I admit is not a justification at all, but I’ll get to that later.

Another thing that has really influenced my feelings this year is losing my close group of friends since freshman year. After coming from Assumption (bleh) I told myself in high school I would actually find good, caring, honest friends. I didn’t care as much about having a huge group of friends, but rather a close, cool group. And that I thought I did. It sounds cold, but this group of friends was a part of my plan, but I loved them not only for that reason. I considered them to be my best friends because we talked all the time, went out together, had sleepovers, played Just Dance for hours late at night, and all that best friendy stuff. I thought we could talk to each other openly and honestly about anything. I thought we would all be that great, close group forever, or at the very least until the end of high school. I mean, come on, we even got friendship bracelets and made promises with them and everything! Doesn’t that seem legit? My point is these people mattered to me, a lot. They were the friends I never thought I’d find. But suddenly, I wasn’t a part of that anymore. And for this I felt betrayed. I felt kicked to the curb, especially by one of them, and I felt like no one cared or missed me when it happened. For this, I bred resentment. I despised seeing them being happy, ignoring me like I was never anyone to them. (wow I sound like an awful person now). For so long, I have been angry at them, and confused, because I wanted to know what happened, and it’s taken me a long time to realize I should be angry at myself too. I let my hatred cloud all of my thoughts; I could’ve at the very least instigated a discussion to know why this all happened. I was angry with them because they didn’t do that, but I was wrong to put the blame solely on them.

Basically, I regret sacrificing my happiness for a lot of this year over hatred. It took up so much valuable time, when I could’ve been doing better things. Besides, in the end, I’ve found more friends, I talked to people I never really thought I would, but they are some of my closest friends now. And to them I am so grateful. Now I stand here, in front of all of you, asking everyone to cherish every minute and don’t waste it being a hater. I know the whole “every second counts” thing is so overused, but it’s so true. I wish I made myself hate less, be kinder, and be happier this year. Instead, I allowed the people I hated have happiness, while I brooded. I stand in front of you all, saying I don’t want to be a hater anymore; I’m calling it to an end. I’m not perfect, and it’s going to be a huge struggle, but I want to try. So to those friends that hurt me, it’s okay. Thank you, actually, because I think I’ve grown as a person. To the one that, for an unknown reason to me, made up a completely false rumor about me calling you “fat”, I would like to say I don’t think you are, and though I held resentment for you because of that, I’m tired of holding it. I have no clue why you felt you had to say that, but I apologize, because if I ever did do something mean to you, it was a complete accident.

In the America I will grow old in, I know no one’s life will be fair. No one’s life will be easy. Everyone is dealt some tough cards from time to time. However, when the going gets tough, that doesn’t mean it’s acceptable to simply hate others. In the America I hope to grow old in, I hope to see less hatred, and more kindness. Life isn’t fair, but I hope to see more people that will treat others fairly. I hope by the time I am a little old Asian lady, I will have learned to love, more than anything, to forgive, and not hate. I hope that I will have not wasted any more happiness because of resentment. In the future America I hope to see, I wish everyone more happiness.