Meghan+S’s+Final+AmEx+2015+Speech


 * Let's Love Ourselves **

We live in an America where often times being yourself is wrong. It is looked down upon; it is disregarded; it is shamed for one reason or another. Too quiet, too loud, too nice, too mean, not trying hard enough, trying too hard, too smart, too dumb, too. We live in an America where skinny equals pretty and people hate themselves because of the amount of adipose that gathers itself around their belly, or their arms or their legs. Where girls have cuts on their arms both for the reasons that you’d think, along with shaving wounds from attempting to eradicate the “evil” of body hair. Where often guys are ridiculed for being “too nice” or “too sensitive,” I mean boys don’t cry, right? An America where we’re so hung up on standards that we are petrified to deviate from them. Where confidence is so rare a quality that it is often mistaken for conceitedness. We live in an America that doesn't feel like the dream of equality and freedom many envision, but rather a sort of American nightmare of standards and degradation.

Okay, so I don’t know if you guys have Spotify, but if you do you have most likely heard the Betty Who smooth legs commercial in which she urges women to “take care of their legs” by shaving them. If you’re even more unfortunate, you may have heard the “Basic Pitches’” a capella mash up of why women should shave their legs. Every time these commercials come on I mute them immediately. Simply put, women shouldn’t have to shave their legs, nor should they be shamed into doing so, with the fear of, brace yourselves, looking like a cactus with thorny thighs that prevent them from dancing. I can’t make this up, it’s an actual line from the song. Anyway, every time this commercial comes on, I instinctively find myself glancing down at my not-shaven-for-probably-about-a-week legs, and feeling poorly about them. Why should I be made insecure about the natural state of my body on such a regular and intrusive basis? Why should perpetuating standards be made into a silly little song that is often overlooked, or even laughed at? If I don’t want to shave my legs, I don’t want to feel bad about not shaving my legs.

Likewise, the “boys don’t cry,” standard of masculinity and strength is detrimental to the self-image and self-esteem of guys all across the nation, who, do in fact cry. In a study of men’s perceptions of the expectations of masculinity placed on them, 62% of men said they don’t feel comfortable expressing their emotions in case it is perceived as a sign of weakness. Why should men be shamed if they, god forbid, have emotions? Why is it okay for a girl to cry, but the second we see a glisten of a tear in a man’s eye we are taken aback? Why are men made to feel they have to keep their emotions hidden to fulfill society’s standard of what they should, and are expected to be?

Probably the most prominent issue of self image faced in America is that of weight. The skinny = pretty complex, the if-you’re-not-a-small-you-might-as-well-be-plus-size mentality. In a study conducted by Psych Central, it was concluded that currently, 80 percent of women in the U.S. are dissatisfied with their appearance, and more than 10 million are suffering from eating disorders. I witness this in my everyday life. I hear my friends constantly calling themselves fat and remarking that they need to lose weight on a near-daily basis. I witness people eat little to nothing, constantly counting calories and turning down food they want in order to strive for the body figure they are convinced they are supposed to have. As if this isn’t disturbing enough, the same study found that 42 percent of first- to third-grade girls want to lose weight, and 81 percent of 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat. I don’t know about you guys, but when I was that age I don’t think I even understood the concept of being fat. I was a chubby little kid, and I was absolutely okay with that. But with more and more exposure to the media, children are increasingly becoming convinced that being thin is a necessity. By adolescence, studies show that young people are receiving an estimated 5,260 “attractiveness messages” per year from network television commercials alone, and that because of this, 50 to 70 percent of normal-weight girls think they are overweight. I am included in this percentage. According to my doctor, I am in the healthy BMI range- in fact she stated that she doesn’t want me to lose weight. So why is it that my entire life I have, to put it frankly, thought I was fat? Even now I struggle with my self-image, and the worst part about it is that I know that I shouldn’t. Theoretically, I should be comfortable with myself, but every time I begin to think this way, the little voice up in my head that society has instilled there never fails to tell me I am wrong.

A few months back I was at my friend Charlotte's house getting ready for Winter Formal. You guys know Charlotte Fox, right? She’s a goddess. At the end of the process when eyelashes were curled, and hair was pinned up with seventeen bobby pins, and dresses were slipped on, and high heels were braved, we stood back to examine ourselves in the mirror. When Charlotte, upon seeing her reflection commented, “wow I look good!” I was taken aback. She did look good, she looked great in fact, wasn’t that what we had just prepped ourselves up to be? Regardless, the concept of someone actually taking pride in their appearance was so foreign to me, that in that moment I felt she was being conceited. People like Charlotte are the solution. People who are confident in themselves despite all the ways society has tried to convince them they shouldn’t be.

Admittedly this is not the largest problem America faces, nor is it necessarily the one I most want to see solved. I am addressing it today however, because I feel it is one that often goes overlooked. It’s easy to make a joke about the girl who doesn’t shave, or the guy caught with a tear rolling down his face when we watch Selma in class. It’s easy to call someone fat, or annoying, or dumb. It is harder to see the beauty in what society has convinced us is unconventional. I want to live in an America where un-conventionalities become conventional, and everyone is able to love themselves because of it.


 * Sources: **

=Boys don’t cry: What does masculinity mean in 2015? := http://www.womensagenda.com.au/talking-about/top-stories/boys-dont-cry-what-does-masculinity-mean-in-2015/201505055704#.VXkIlUal9Do

=Why Do Women Hate Their Bodies? := http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/06/02/why-do-women-hate-their-bodies/