Rachel+S’s+Final+AmEx+2015+Speech

The Inferiority Complex
 * Title of Speech **

Today, I just want to talk about a feeling, more specifically a complex, that we’ve probably all had to deal with at some point or another in our lives. The impact of it can vary and for some people, it may be something they were never even aware of because it can be felt unconsciously, either partly or entirely. What I’m talking about is the inferiority complex. What it is is practically in its name. It’s the sense of feeling inferior to someone and the general sense of inadequacy. It can arise in various situations whether it’s related to academics, sports, appearance wise, etc. For me, it stems from academics.
 * Text of Speech **

Now, it wasn’t until this year that I realized I had this particular complex. Before this year, the pressure I had was usually put on myself from myself; I didn’t really concern myself with others, I just did my own thing, and set myself up to certain standards that I aimed to meet. Realistic standards and goals. My parents were there to encourage me and they had expectations too but the pressure I felt really wasn't emanating from them. So it wasn’t until junior year that my parents started to become more involved, for lack of a better word.

Junior year is the most stressful year, for obvious reasons. With SATs, ACTs and AP exams to worry while also maintaining a social life, it’s hard to organize everything and maintain your stability under all that pressure. My parents, first of all, knew about this. But rather than understanding the stress I’d be enduring, they only focused on the importance of a high GPA and standardized testing scores. They focused on the numbers that would be submitted to colleges, rather than my mental stability.

For example, and I don’t know if this happens to anyone else, but whenever I bring home a good grade, my parents -especially this year- are never completely satisfied. For instance, one time on a trigonometry test, I brought home a 93 percent. I was considerably proud of that because it was a difficult test. I spent the entire night before studying and memorizing formulas and everything.

However, when i showed my dad he simply asked “how come you didn’t get an hundred?”. I like to remind myself that he has good intentions when saying that because he just wants me to work hard in school. I understand that. But I can’t ignore the fact that it hurts when I hear it. What made things worse was that my parents would always compare me to my older brother and brag about how smart and intelligent he was in high school. And at the end of the day, I knew I didn’t match up to him, in both academics and extracurricular activities. He was a straight A student and a varsity athlete, he was in speech and debate and ASB, and got a full ride to Michigan State University. So yeah, it was hard for me to try and surpass him. And I’m not saying I don’t have anything I’m passionate about or any activities outside of academics because I do, but they just disregard them or see them as lesser.

And thus began my dark road down the inferiority complex. It started out with my brother, but it slowly started to trickled down into my daily school life among my peers. I started to compare myself to other students, and not in a positive way where I'm encouraged to try harder, but rather in a way where I saw myself as lesser no matter what I did or how hard I did it. If I scored one percent below the person next to me, I’d feel disappointed and angry at myself that I didn’t match up to that person. And because of that, I was always in this constant and vicious cycle of “I have to match up to everyone else”. I saw everything as a competition. One that I may not have wanted to participate in but nonetheless, wanted to win.

And there were times when I just stopped seeing people as individuals and just saw them as this one unit. I saw everyone as one person who was smarter and better than me.

And this mentality is the reason why I care so much, way more than I really should, about my grades and SAT/ACT scores. It’s the reason why I sometimes reject people who want to hang out over the weekend, because I always feel like I need to be studying. And this year of all years, I found myself prioritizing academics over an actual life and making precious memories. And I regret this so much.

But I guess you could say that my inferiority complex has a positive side as I’m always motivated to try harder. While that’s true, I’m also human.

And with all the effort I put in just to be put down by my parents and myself just because I wasn’t perfect, it’s hardly a surprise that right now, I’m tired. I am so tired. Not just from the lack of sleep over the school year, but from the ridiculous expectations my parents, our education system, and I expect from me.

We shouldn’t have to live in this constant cycle of measuring ourselves up to others. It’s not to say that we should boycott putting in effort or something, because we shouldn’t. But nobody should feel inferior and lesser in cases when they come in second place after putting in 100% of their effort. You should be proud of the efforts you make and the results that come from that, because that’s what counts in the long run.

I can’t believe it took me this long to realize it, but, at least for me, satisfying my own standards is enough. I don’t want to live to make others happy or content about my life. I’m tired of tending to others and disregarding what I need, which is a break. I want to live in a world where I can be proud of the amount of effort I put into something and the results the come out of that, instead of feeling disappointed in myself because I wasn’t as perfect as the next person. Because that’s what the inferiority complex does to you. It pushes you to try and reach absolute perfection. But that’s not what I want. I don’t want to reach perfection if that means I subconsciously push aside people I love and have breakdowns everyday. The America I want to live in is not one where students have meltdowns everyday in an effort to achieve perfection.

I want to live in a household where rather than making me feel inadequate, I’m motivated and encouraged to try harder in a positive environment. I want to attend a school where there is a fine line between motivation and discouragement. I want to live in a state where students are proud when they meet their own standards that they set for themselves, and not angry at themselves when they fail to meet those of others. I want to live in an America where just because you fail to reach a standard, doesn’t mean you are failure.

Everyone is different and grow and learn at their own pace. And while competition is a good thing that fuels our economy and education system, it shouldn’t be something that breaks us entirely when we don’t succeed.

Lastly, I want to live in an America where people are able to reach their full potentials and aren't held back as a subordinates of insecurities.

Because the most devastating effect of an inferiority complex is forgetting what you truly love and value. During that time you spend worrying about matching up to others, you have subconsciously pushed aside your own desires and what you want to pursue.

I spent this entire year worrying about numbers and scores, instead of doing what I love. I spent this entire year studying that I forgot to pick up a book that I actually want to read. I spent so much time on an SAT prep book that forgot to stop and enjoy the little things in life. I forgot that there’s a whole other world other than academics; that there are more important things than a score, and that I am are worth more than a numerical figure on a piece of paper.

And I hope what I say next will help anyone who has an inferiority complex, whether they knew they had it before today or just realized it right now during this speech. This psychological sense of feeling inferior is not something your friends or your parents can resolve for you. It’s something that stems from yourself, therefore you have to overcome it yourself. And it's something does not stay dormant. It’s always active. It restrains you from taking risks in fear of failure. It limits your potentials because you’re busy watching the person next to you and what they’re doing. In short, it limits what you can offer the world. So learn to be more confident in yourself. Everyone has weaknesses, but the worst thing you could do is to let your weaknesses and diffidence consume you entirely. What I hope for for everyone, including myself, is to learn to be motivated and ambitious, but at the same time, satisfied and happy with what you’re able to contribute to the world. I hope that you give everything your absolute best effort and in the end, find some peace in the results.


 * Cite your sources **