Simon+C’s+Final+AmEx+2014+Speech

=Title of Speech= America is better than other places

=Text of Speech=

There are many issues in the world today from neo-nazis to feminazis and all of them need to be addressed at some time or another. But, the most pressing issue of the world is without a doubt the lack of acceptance of the correct American way of doing things by the rest of the world. Now some of you might say that there is no single correct way of doing things, that each countries own way works for them and there is nothing wrong with that. That is not the case ... not at all. We are American, we are great, our ways of doing things are the correct ways and should be followed by all of the inferior countries instead of doing them their traditional wrong way, and no amount of ranting by people like captain can change my mind. Of these inferior countries the most prominent in its ignorance of the greatness of America is England. From their misspelling of simple words like color, C-O-L-O-R its not that difficult, to their disrespect of the elegant term football by using it to describe the pitiful game of soccer. England is a menace. So what if the language is named after their country, it does not mean that they are able to judge how words should be spelled and pronounced. Consider the countries to be like an operating system on a computer America is the new, better version with a corrected system. It contains the newest updates and best technologies, yet England refuses to upgrade. They are stuck in the past with incorrect pronunciations like Al-u-mini-um, Ze-bra (pronounce Britishly) and color spelled C-O-L-O-U-R. These old ideas are just the stubborn British people refusing to accept the new and correct way of doing things. For instance, soccer is a much better and more interesting way of naming the sport. If we went around naming sports after what we used to play them life would be crazy. There’d be like five sports called football, another large amount called handball, a couple of stick balls, and polo would be called horse and really long hammer thing ball. Its simply a bad way of naming the sport. Along with that, for anyone to confuse the godly sport of football with such a lesser game is near sacrilege which is why other countries of the world should give in to the better American way of doing things and just call it soccer. Another thing that drives me insane is their damn driving (pun intended). Do you want to know why we don’t drive on the left side of the road in America? Because we drive on the RIGHT side of the road. Thats right, our way is the correct way. We chose the better way when orienting our roads and now we are made to suffer because of the poor choices of many other countries. When badass American’s for some reason or another have to leave the greatness that is America they are confused and put in danger by the poorly oriented road structures. But we should not be made to suffer, we should not be put in danger because of another countries poor choices. Those other countries should make right their wrongdoings and protect the greatness that is America for future generations. Finally, the last and probably most obnoxious trait of other countries of the world is their insistence on using the Metric system of measurement as opposed to the Imperial system. While the metric system may be easy to convert with and be more accurate when used in a scientific setting, it is simply impractical for everyday use. The metric system was derived for a more scientific use and is often helpful in that way as it makes conversions between units of measurement simple. However, compared to the Imperial system of measurement, it is not ideal for everyday use. Many of the units of the imperial system were based off of commonly used objects when measuring, for instance a foot is around the length of a foot, an inch is approximately the length of one’s thumb, and a cup is ... well its a cup. These units evolved because they were commonly used in measurement and were great for everyday things. So while the metric system may be a good unit of measurement in some instances, the American imperial system of measurement is far better. So in conclusion, The America that I want to grow up in is a land where all countries will have learned the correct American way of doing things, and will have abandoned their old improper ideals like spelling color with a “U.”

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