Karina+C's+Final+AmEx+2015+Speech

I wanted to do my speech on masculinity and how popular cultures teaching young boys to strive to “be a man” are destructive and unhealthy. “Toughen up” “Be strong” “Don’t cry” “Suck it up” all refrains that are toxic to their emotional development I had it made up in my mind that it was wrong for boys specifically to be taught they needed to “prove their manliness” and be the “dominant, or the alpha male”
 * Respecting the opinions of others/ How to Collaborate**

I saw a distinct line between how males and females are raised and I recognized this as a problem. I didn’t realize, however, that I was seeing this from solely a female perspective. I didn’t realize, I was only seeing the negative outcomes of this paradigm. I hadn’t considered the positive effects of teaching boys to be “manly.”

It wasn’t until I talked to some of my guy friends about this topic, that I did realize, __my__ answer to embrace their femininity, as a solution wasn’t a solution they necessarily wanted to embrace. These friends gave me their opinions and explained that being raised to be a man has taught them to be more confident, motivated, competitive and to not take everything to heart; all positive attributes.

Once I re-read my speech it seemed a little degrading towards men, which wasn’t what I was trying to convey, in contrast my primary focus had been to support men.

Which brings me to my point;

Looking through the world in one light, one lens, severely limits your perspective of what’s going on around you. It’s critical to take into account the experiences of another. In this way, you can respect his or her ideas/beliefs and opinions even if you don’t agree with them.

Disagreement, in my opinion, is actually beneficial. By hearing someone else’s point of view, you gain insight into how they think, what he/she values and what they have been taught and grew up believing. This allows you to empathize and understand why someone holds his or her morals so strongly.

For example, I think a woman has a right to do whatever she wants with her body. Therefore, if she thinks she cannot support her unborn child, then I believe she has the right to abort it. In spite of this, I can still respect someone else’s values and strong beliefs that all unborn children have the right to live. The separation between pro-life and pro-choice shouldn’t divide us, and make us hateful and critical towards one another. We need to learn to respect each other’s opinions and be willing to listen and consider another point of view outside of your own even if it’s the polar opposite to what you believe.

Similarly, I recognized that when I interact only with people who think the same way I do, it does nothing but further my own argument and reinstate my own beliefs. Hearing exactly what I already know and looking through the same lens does not challenge me, it affirms my conclusion and stifles my thinking. (Like preaching to the choir)

On a national level, what I think needs to change in this country is an openness to ideas, an awareness that someone may and is going to disagree with you; and that’s ok. The other day my friend mentioned that she really liked her co-worker; until she found out that that person was a conservative Republican. Suddenly, she no longer wanted to associate with that coworker. This really bothered me because my friend consciously chose to dislike someone because of the political party her co-worker affiliates with. Political parties shouldn’t divide us, but challenge us to find a middle ground, a “compromise” between those in favor of progressive action and those who believe traditional values should continue.

This example, (I believe) is pretty commonplace; we have all seen or heard, statements like “they’re a republican” or “they’re a hippy liberal” with a derogatory connotation. But just because someone identifies with a political party, it doesn’t mean they support every aspect of the movement.

Like my friend Cristian, his values regarding welfare and military spending are markedly conservative. However, regarding social issues like Gay rights and abortion, he leans more towards the left. Cristian considers himself a moderate Republican, but when some of my other friends hear the words “Republican” they cringe or tune out because of their pre-determined ideas and biases against some of the policies the Republican Party advocates for.

Regardless, even if someone __does__ agree with all aspects of a movement or a political party, disrespecting another’s’ views, fosters conflict and creates distension.

As a nation, and as a world, we would never make any progress if we all had the same ideas, and were never open to hearing anything outside of what we know and what we believe in. Progress can only occur if collaboration occurs. Our federal government offers several examples of this: -The reason a president has his cabinet members are to enable him to obtain input from several diverse sources when making his/her decisions. -Similarly, Congress’s system of debates and two-house decision-making, is set up, ideally, to facilitate collaboration. Members of the parties’ debate, consult, then meet in conference chambers to hammer out laws to be passed. This illustrates how with compromise and collaboration of ideas, headway and improvement can be made.

But, specifically how is consensus engendered?

1.) The first step in collaboration begins with listening. To try and hear out what the other person is saying. To really listen requires empathy. That is the capacity to understand what another person is experiencing from his/her frame of reference. 2.) The next step in collaboration is to respect; that is to respond to the other’s ideas in a manner in which we would like him/her to respond to us. By applying empathy, we can develop the ability to be more understanding and compassionate of someone else, thus creating a safe environment where him/her opinions are heard and considered. 3.) The final step in collaboration is state your own opinion firmly while suggesting a solution that can be beneficial to each party. Through discussion, positive distribution of ideas can be shared and possibly a middle ground can be reached.

Getting back to my beginning, when I thought I saw a problem that needed to be fixed in regards to how boys were being taught to “be a man” I hadn’t looked at this phenomenon from different angles. I actually started getting annoyed when some of my guy friends told me what they thought because I wanted to be right. Sometimes we’re so caught up in being right that we forget that someone else’ point of view is just as valuable to them as ours is to us. Sometimes we’re so caught up in being right that we put someone down and we disregard his or her opinion as invalid because it doesn’t match our own definition.

Let’s remember that there’s no such thing as a “right opinion” that’s why it’s called an opinion.

Thank you.

END
 * Cite your sources: uhh [|Thesaurus.com] ?? Idk I thought of it **